Thoughts of a Tired Mind
(Confessions of the Sleep-Deprived)
When I sleep late and am forced to wake up really early the morning after, I spend the rest of the day coming up with completely random thoughts—most of which are reflective, and I find myself wiser afterwards (if I remember what I’ve been thinking about, that is) but are otherwise counter-productive as it causes me to space out and become unaware of my surroundings. But I submit to these thoughts anyway, because there’s nothing better to do. Also, due to the fact that being sleep-deprived, I’m not exactly up for anything more difficult than walking or raising the paper cup of cheap coffee to my lips.
So then I thought, Why not write about them (provided they are comprehensive enough to pen down) and then check on them when I’m feeling a bit more refreshed?
And then I thought in reply, That would be awesome.
Keep reading to see what’s gotten into me lately.
“Thoughts on Falling”
A playlist of songs by Michael Bublé, Jason Mraz and Adele blasts full-volume in my ears, but I’m not really listening.
My mind has wandered. Come with me.
We are standing on the battlements of an old, old castle (I’d like to think of it as my castle, you know, the one you build in your mind where you create and store symbolic representations of events in your life? That kind of castle. I have pineapple jam stored there somewhere.)
Beyond, everything is covered by thick, swirling fog. Curiously enough, the grass on the ground below the battlements can be seen clearly enough.
Spread your arms now. Spread them wide, like an eagle taking flight. But we do not fly—we fall.
Falling. Such a freeing thought. Feeling the cold wind rush past your face, billowing your hair, throwing your arms back, slipping through your fingers…
The fall is such a deeply relaxing experience. Aside from the cool wind on your face, there is the feeling of utter weightlessness, the freedom from any burdens swept away from you, complete detachment from the world and its troubles.
It is a fall of freedom.
But the fall does not end, no. The fall is eternal. Eternal bliss, eternal relief. The ground forever out of reach.
<thought ends>
Thinking about it, I realize it has to end, the falling part. And I don’t mean to splat like a fallen bag of sausages on the grassy ground, no. It’s just, well, you have to land sometime. The fall of freedom has to stop. The fall, though eternal, only serves as a momentary escape. It has to have an ending somehow. Whether you land graciously on your bare feet, or you land like a warrior, poised to attack. Either way, one has to face the world’s troubles and burdens once more. Then, when there comes a time that all of it is too much for you to handle, come with me and we can fall again.
<reflection ends>
